Team: Assassinate the President!
by Stella Rose-chan
Summary: Allen and the gang are tasked with defeating the President of the United States...who turns out to be the Millennium Earl! With the White House full of akuma and Noah fooling the whole world, killing the president is much harder than it seems. Pairings: Slight LavixOC, Allena
1. It's Crazier Than It Seems

**Stella: So, this plot bunny has been bouncing around in my head for awhile. I was gonna put this as a bonus chapter in my other story, Innocent Heart, but I decided not to. This story shouldn't be any longer than five chapters though.**

**Lavi: And didn't you say you weren't gonna post stories or update anything until after school started?**

**Stella: ...yeah, this is awkward. Especially since I left a small notice thingy on my profile. But this is the last one, I swear!**

**Rose: Finished your summer reading?**

**Stella: ...uhh, anyways. Rose is my OC from Innocent Heart. I'm not sure how well this story will flow, but I hope you like it!**

* * *

"So…you're saying what now?" Allen Walker, the white-haired 15-year-old Exorcist, asked their crazy boss, Komui Lee.

"It's exactly as I said. You are to go and kill the current president of the United States, Mr. Millennium Earl." He told the five teens with a very serious tone, although it was hard to take him seriously while he was spinning in his chair like a little kid.

"But…but…he's the president…of the _United States_!" Rosalie Hinode, the short, curly haired brunette Exorcist pointed out frantically. "If we kill him…we'll go to jail. No, we'll go to prison!"

Komui waved his hand around playfully and let out a hearty laugh. "Don't worry. You and Allen will only go to juvy. Kanda-kun and Lavi will go to prison." He informed them cheerfully as if there was nothing to worry about.

"What about Lenalee?" Rose gestured over to his little sister, Lenalee Lee, the 16-year-old Chinese Exorcist, who clearly looked annoyed at her old brother's carelessness.

"There's no way I'm letting my precious Lenalee go to a nasty place like that!" He yelled and hugged his sister tightly.

Lenalee pushed him away and gave her brother a serious look. "That's not fair brother. They're family. I have to stick with them through the end."

Lavi, the cheerful 18-year-old redheaded Exorcist, ran a hand through his fiery hair and sighed. "Yeah, Chief. Besides, if we cause any more tension with the United States and their government, we could probably cause a war. And I'm not talking about the secret war we're in now."

"I know that the previous Millennium Earl caused a bit of…trouble back in the…what was it, 18th or 19th century? But anyways, maybe he's a good man now." Rose suggested, pleading for Komui not to go along with this plan.

"Really? You think so?" Komui asked her, an evil smile creeping up on his face. "Well, do you think it was an accident that one his closest superintendents, one from the clan of _Noah,_ came to our League of Branches meeting with a whole horde of akuma?!"

Rose shrank down and huddled behind the tall redhead. "N-no…but…" She sighed and let her shoulders drop. "Maybe if we tell someone, they'll believe us and - "

Lavi gave her a shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "I wish it was that easy. People think that these are those crazy conspiracy theories. Not that many people will be willing to believe us, even if it is the truth."

"It _is_ a conspiracy theory…in a way…" Rose muffled from behind him. "I don't think we get paid enough for this…"

"You're lucky you're getting paid at all." Komui scolded her lightly. "It's not like you have a choice."

"It was just a joke…"

"But Komui is right, in a way." Lenalee piped up. "I mean, we didn't _choose _to become Exorcist."

They all nodded. It was true. Their path was already set out in front of them because they were accommodators chosen by Innocence; a source of power to help them fight against the akuma created by the Millennium Earl.

"You think if Allen's great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandpa wasn't able to defeat the Millennium Earl those hundreds of years ago, we will?" Rose thought out loud.

"We won't know unless we try, right?" Lavi informed her and gave her one of his signature smiles.

Lenalee nodded in agreement. "He's right. We just have to think positive! If our great ancestors came really close to finally ending the war, well, we'll finish it for them!"

"I'm sure you're missing a lot more 'greats' than that. It's been a few hundred years, after all." Lavi said playfully and everyone (except Kanda) joined in the laughter.

"Okay, we'll go." Allen decided for the rest of them. "I mean, we'll go to the party being held at the White House this weekend and we'll see if he's planning something. But if he's not, we're coming straight back to London, okay?!" He gazed at Komui with a hard look in his silver eyes.

"What? We can't just waltz right in there though, can we?" Lenalee asked curiously, her long green pigtails following her as she turned to her boss/brother.

"Of course not, my Lenalee! That's why I have these invitations for you!" Komui cried out cheerfully and pulled out three invitations.

"Well, gee, that's great and all, but there are _five _of us here, not three." Lavi pointed out bluntly.

Lenalee looked at her brother and chief unsurely. "Hey, uh, how in the world did you get those?"

Komui gave her a smug grin. "This _is _the Black Order, after all. We're like what the White House is to the United States."

The teens nodded in unison. "Ahhhhhh…."

"And it _did _help that one of the Noah has a secret crush on Allen…" Komui added in a rushed voice. Allen's cheeks turned slightly pink and he scowled at Komui.

"Well, read the invitation!" Rose suggested and they all gathered around Allen.

Allen took an invitation and read it aloud, "'Greetings! You've officially been invited to my granddaughter, Road Kamelot's, 14th birthday here at the White House at 7:00 pm sharp. You are allowed to bring one date, but the date must also bring a gift for Road or he/she will not be permitted inside. See you Saturday! – Mr. Millennium Earl'"

"Yes! A date! I call Rosalie-chan!" Lavi called out excitedly and slung an arm around said date.

Rose blushed at the contact and cleared her throat. "That's not the way to ask, you know…"

He looked down at her and went down on one knee as if he were proposing. "Rosalie Hinode, would you do the honor of accompanying me to the party this Saturday as my date?"

Everyone stared at Lavi in complete disbelief and astonishment. Lenalee and Allen sweatdropped and pulled out their phones to take a picture. Since when did he ever become serious about…anything?

Rose stared at him, her jade-green eyes met his single, emerald-green eye. After a few overdramatic hesitant seconds, she nodded. "Y-yes. I'd love to."

Lavi jumped up and fist pumped the air. "Whoop! She said yes!" On a complete impulse, he threw his arms around her tightly and did some sort of happy dance before letting her go and running off. Rose sat there, her red as face as her date's hair, while avoiding any sort of eye contact with anyone.

"More than friends, less than lovers." Lenalee muttered under her breath. She turned to Allen and took a deep breath.

"Allen-kun…"

"Yes, Lenalee?" The white haired Exorcist smiled at her softly.

"You'll…go with me, right? To the party?" She began nervously.

"Shouldn't I be the one to ask that?" He asked her sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head.

"Yes, but you're taking a while." She giggled, much to Komui's disapproval.

"Of course I'll go with you, Lenalee."

She smiled and turned to her now crimson-faced brother. "So, what about the other invitation? What do we do with that?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah! Kanda-kun is going with you all, remember?" Komui informed them and pointed to the angry Japanese Exorcist who was glaring at them from the corner of the room.

"Ahhhh….." They all replied at once

"I forgot all about Bakanda!" Allen snickered.

"Same here. Has he been here the whole time?" Rose asked after recovering from her flustered state.

"Shut up. I'm not looking forward to go on this stupid mission one bit." He turned to glare at Komui. "And if this mission gets us sent to prison, I swear, I will cut you to – "

"Okay! Kanda, you should go get ready." Lenalee cut him off before he could finish the rest of his death threat. "We'll be leaving this afternoon so we'll make it to the States in the morning." She smiled at him as he scowled at the rest of the team and stalked out of the door, a dark aura surrounding him the whole time.

Allen nodded. "We should all get ready. Rose, why don't you go tell your date to pack his stuff for our trip?" He added and smirked as he watched Rose's cheeks turn red.

"That geems sood. I-I mean, that seems g-good!" Rose stammered nervously. She was smiling like a lovesick schoolgirl. It was almost embarrassing to watch, but everyone already knew how she felt about that redheaded Exorcist. She just made it a little more…obvious.

"We should start packing too, Lenalee." Allen suggested to his green-haired date and they waved off to Komui before leaving his office.

"Allen, if you do anything to Lenalee, I swear – "

Lenalee slammed the door shut before they could hear what else Komui had to say. "I swear, he takes after Kanda sometimes."

"No one can be as worse as Bakanda." Allen laughed. "So, are you two ready?" He asked his comrades as they walked down the long, dark halls of the Black Order.

"To assassinate the president of the United States?" Rose said in a disbelieving tone.

Lenalee nodded and replied with newfound determination, "Yes. I think we'll have to be."

Rose sighed and twirled her hair around her finger anxiously. "Our first visit to the States and we have to do work."

Allen laughed and gave his two friends a wink and thumbs up. "Well, we're Exorcists after all! Let's show them what we can do!"

They exchanged glances and returned his smile. As if they planned it, the three teens put their hands together and shouted, "Let's go! Team: Assassinate the President!"

* * *

**Stella: And this is definitely the last thing I'm posting for the summer! Forreals! This is supposed to be more of a humorous story, unlike the other one. And the reason I had Kandax? in the description is because I'm not sure if I should pair him up with someone or not. I don't really have anyone in mind...**

**Allen: Do your paper.**

**Stella: But...but...**

**Lenalee: No buts, Stella-chan!**

**Stella: *pouts* But...but...Lavi...**

**Lavi: I'm sorry, but they're right.**

**Stella: Rosie-chan...*puppy eyes***

**Rose: Please don't look at me like that...**

**Stella: Kanda-kun...**

**Kanda: Che.**

**Stella: Fine, you guys suck! Anyways, please leave reviews and tell me what you think. I kinda just made this up on a whim. Well, off to do my paper! *grumble grumble***


	2. The Perfect Gift

**Stella: So...it's been a while...**

**Lavi: Too long! Where've you been, Stella-chan?!**

**Stella: At school...and taking naps. I'm sorry!**

**Lenalee: Well, at least she's here now!**

**Allen: Welcome back, Stella!**

**Rose: Meh...**

**Kanda: Che.**

**Stella: Gee...thanks you two. Anyways, Allen's probably a bit...really OOC. I kinda pictured Allen in this fanfic like how he is in the latest chapters of the manga, which I finally caught up on! :D But yeah, enjoy!**

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"Wow! So this is what America's like!" Rose exclaimed while looking down at the city from the team's hotel room. "It's so…so…"

"Big?" Lenalee suggested from her oversized cushiony chair.

"Busy?" Allen chirped from the seat beside her.

"Noisy?" Lavi implied while plopping down on the bed.

"Che, annoying." Kanda scoffed as he leaned against the wall.

Rose turned to her team and pursed her lips. "I was going to say _different. _Geez, you guys…"

"There's probably akuma lurking everywhere…" The white haired teen muttered under his breath.

Lenalee turned to him with a curious look in her eyes. "Why do you say that, Allen-kun?" She murmured quietly to him. "Has your eye reacted to anyone?"

"No, not yet." He shook his head. "You know, because of the Millennium Earl." He began to explain. "He _is _the president of this country, after all. I wouldn't be surprised if there were akuma on every block of this city. And I don't even need the mention the Noah Family…"

"Ah, but don't sweat it Allen! It's alright then, since your eye hasn't picked anything up." Lavi chimed in after rolling off the bed. He ruffled Allen's white hair and smirked. "If anything, we'll just…you know, rough 'em up a bit!"

"For a future Bookman, you're an idiot." Kanda spat out, "What do you think will happen if we're spotted just randomly beating the shit out of someone?"

"I don't know…" Allen began, and then he smiled evilly at Kanda. "But it sure seems like something you would do, Bakanda!"

He growled, "Moyashi…I will cut you to pieces!"

Rose jumped between the two, waving her arms around. "Stop it, you two! We don't want the manager to come up here, do we?" She gasped and placed her hand under her chin as if she were thinking. "Wait…now that I think about it…she _did _look pretty familiar…"

Lenalee nodded her head in agreement. "Yeah, she did, didn't she? That's strange. What was her name again?"

Allen turned to Kanda for an answer.

"Why're you looking at me, moyashi?"

Allen narrowed his eyes at that comment. "It's _Allen._ And you could at least be useful on our mission, Bakanda."

"That doesn't mean I have to know this dumb hotel manger's name." He replied bluntly.

Lavi sighed and closed his single eye. "Her name was Lulu Bell."

"Lulu Bell…Lulu Bell…Lulu Bell…" Allen repeated the name several times before something in his mind connected the pieces together. "Noah!"

"That _gorgeous _woman is a Noah?!" Lavi exclaimed in complete shock, but recovered quickly after receiving a glare from Rose.

"Everyone, get your things. We're finding a different hotel." Allen stated and went to grab his suitcase, but was stopped by Lenalee.

"Allen-kun, wait…"

His silver eyes met hers with a hard gaze. "What is it, Lenalee?"

"Maybe if we stay here, we'll have a better idea of what the Noahs are planning. Plus, this is the closest hotel to the White House and maybe the other nearby hotels have Noah members as mangers, too." Lenalee explained a little too quickly.

"Yeah, it may not seem like it, but we _do _have the advantage here Allen." Lavi said in agreement. "Besides, the party isn't until tomorrow so we have plenty of time to plan things out."

Allen sighed in defeat and placed his suitcase back on the floor. "Fine, we'll stay here. But I want us all to invetis – "

"Let's go shopping!" Rose cried out excitedly. She quickly glanced over at Allen who was scowling at her. "I mean…for Road's present…" She added somberly.

Lenalee nodded at the suggestion. "That seems like a good idea. We're not allowed in unless we don't have a present, right? So let's go!"

The two made their way out of the room with Lavi following behind and Kanda having no choice but to follow behind reluctantly as well. Allen let out an annoyed groan before catching up with his carefree team.

"Ooooohh! This one's cute!" Rose cooed after picking up another hair bow.

"Yes, but we're supposed to be shopping for Road, remember?" Lenalee reminded the excited curly-haired teen.

Rose let out a disappointed sigh. "Yeah, you're right…" She looked over to her other companions for suggestions.

And of course, Lavi being the goofball he was had an idea. "Okay, Allen! Take your shirt off, pose a little bit, and smile for the camera"

Allen blushed a deep red. "W-w-w-what?!" He stuttered and the most confused expression shaped his facial features. "W-why?"

"_Because_ it's the most perfect gift for Road! She's crazy over you and if she saw just a glimpse of your little baby fat, she'd go nuts!"

An annoyed sigh escaped Allen's lips as he whacked Lavi across the head. "I do _not _have baby fat, baka Lavi! And there's no way you're taking my picture!"

"Allen, you are such a child." Lavi muttered, before turning to his team. "A little help here, please?"

Surprisingly, Lenalee seemed pretty enthusiastic about the whole ordeal as she stepped closer to Allen. Rose was a bit hesitant, but decided to follow through. Kanda…just stood there with his usual annoyed expression.

"This is stupid. Just give her this." Kanda stated blankly and held out his hand to reveal a pack of…

"Kanda! W-where in the world did you get those?!" Lenalee exclaimed, horror and surprise obvious in her voice.

"Some weirdo was passing them out on the street. Who the fuck cares? If the moyashi gives them to her, then we're all set." He grunted and threw a packet at Allen who let it hit him before it fell to the ground.

"Uhh…Allen?" Rose turned to the horror-struck white-haired Exorcist and waved her hand in front of him.

After Allen's face turned paler than usual, he quickly regained composure and invoked his Innocence before lunging for Kanda's neck. Kanda swiftly dodged it and unsheathed Mugen and within seconds, a crowd made its way around the fighting teens.

"Oh, boy. This isn't good." Lavi commented nonchalantly as he scanned the crowd around them.

Everyone looked amazed or perplexed as they continued to watch Allen and Kanda brawl on the middle of the sidewalk. Two officials that looked strikingly familiar to Tyki and Lulu Bell made their way towards the two and that was when Lavi, Rose and Lenalee decided to step in. With the blink of an eye, the team of Exorcists were in the air flying several miles away from the crowd below them. Lenalee was lugging Allen with almost no effort as she soared back to roof of their hotel with her Dark Boots. Lavi held on to Kanda's ponytail while he, Kanda and Rose sat on his hammer making their way back with Lenalee and Allen.

As soon as they set their feet on the roof, Lenalee gave Allen and Kanda a good hard kick on the head.

"Idiots! What were you two thinking?!" She screamed angrily, placing her hands on her hips in clear disappointment.

"I uh…I guess we weren't…" Allen admitted apologetically. "I'm sorry…"

"Well, I'm not!" Rose interjected with a hint of despair in her voice. "Everyone there saw us! They'll know we're Exor – er, they'll know we're not from here!" She corrected herself just in case cameras were around. "And besides, now two members of the Noah family saw us. Now we definitely won't be able to go to the party!"

"Ahh, I wouldn't worry about it too much." Lavi assured her. "Besides…" He smirked evilly and pulled his phone out. "I forgot I took these earlier when we were at the airport!"

He showed them his phone which revealed a half-naked Allen, looking slightly angry, but much more attractive. At the airport, somehow the security system went off after Allen passed through it and after numerous searching, Allen was forced to strip with only his boxers remaining. After he realized it was his Innocence, he made up a lie and told the security officers that his left arm had a metal bar in it due to an "accident."

"Wow…." Lenalee mused. "I didn't know you liked the color pink, Allen-kun!" She giggled, pointing at his pink undergarments in the picture. "Lavi, send that to me later…" She whispered to the redheaded Exorcist, who nodded in reply.

"And I think I took enough pictures for each of us, so I guess we can give that to Road for her present~" Lavi chuckled, preparing to send the picture messages to each of his comrades. "But wait…" He paused and glanced over at Allen. "You take your own picture, Allen. I didn't like the attitude you had with me earlier." He joked, but made no attempt to send a picture to the flustered Exorcist.

"W-what?! Why? Is this 'Put-Allen-Through-Torture-Day' or something?!" He exclaimed angrily, trying to snatch Lavi's phone from his hands.

"Something like that." He replied simply. "Well, let's go back to the rooms. I'm in need for a nap~"

They all nodded in agreement, except Allen, and followed him back to inside of the hotel.

"Wait, guys this isn't fair!" Allen cried out, trying to get one of his friends' attentions.

"We should go to the pool later! Can we, Lenalee?" Rose asked excitedly, purposely ignoring Allen's pleas.

"Yeah, that seems good! We should go to the hot tubs too."

"I wanna go, too! Yu will come too, right?" Lavi said as he slung an arm around an already pissed-off Kanda.

"I thought you were going to take a nap…baka." Kanda retorted while flinging Lavi's arm off of him.

"Yeah, I will afterwards, I guess." He turned to Allen and smirked. "Hey, the pool is a good excuse to take a picture of yourself half-naked!"

Allen was just another smart remark away from activating his Innocence and smacking the smirk off of Lavi's face. No one seemed to be on his side on this argument. Lenalee looked as if she wanted to help Allen, but at the same time she was enjoying it. Rose just went along with the plan without a complaint. Lavi was the insinuator of it all and Kanda…couldn't care less.

Allen took a deep breath mumbled to himself. "Baka Lavi…he's just jealous he doesn't have my good looks…"

"Oh, I'm not jealous at all~" Lavi yelled from the front of their small group.

~Road's Birthday~

"Hi!" Road greeted the Exorcists cheerfully like all of her other guests, although she was fully aware who they were. And the team of Exorcists knew that she was aware, too. "I'm glad you all could come to my party! Do you have your presents for me~?"

Lavi, Rose, Kanda and Lenalee each handed Road an enlarged, framed picture of Allen from the airport. She glanced over to the other Noah members before turning back to them. She let out a squeal of delight and smiled widely. "Okay, you guys can go in."

After giving the Exorcists a well-known smirk, Tyki opened the gate and let them pass. The tension in the air felt tighter and all of their smiles faded as soon as they entered the White House.

"Wait! What about Allen?!" Rose asked suddenly, turning back to see Allen talking to Road.

He looked a bit flustered and hesitantly pulled out a small bag from behind his back. Road giggled as she took the bag from him and hastily opened it. Her eyes widened in shock as she let the bag drop to the ground and held up picture frame containing a portrait of…Allen.

"N-no way! H-he actually did it?" Lenalee gaped as she saw Road turning the frame in different angles, mesmerized by it.

The picture looked as if it was professionally done. It was Allen by the poolside, only with his swimming trunks on. He wasn't smiling in the picture, but it _did _look like he was posing. It was as if he was trying to give off a "bad boy" type of personality in the picture by the way he was staring at the camera.

Road turned around and wiped her nose quickly with a tissue, but not quick enough to where everyone could see the speck of red on it.

"Oh, geez. I didn't know he had it in him! Who knew he could be so photogenic?" Lavi snickered, trying to hold back laughter he knew would escape at any moment.

"Che."

Allen bowed his head quickly and joined his team with an annoyed expression on his face.

"What're you all waiting for?" Allen muttered angrily. "That was embarrassing. I need to punch something. Where's the Millennium Earl?!"

A fit of laughter escaped from everyone, except Kanda and Allen, and Lavi patted Allen on the back repeatedly.

"I'm so proud of you! You're growing up so fast!"

"Shut up! Where's the Millennium Earl? I'm already pissed off and I don't think I'll be better until I _destroy _that fatass."

"I think he's turned into 'Black Allen.'" Rose commented.

"It's almost as bad as when he talks about General Cross…" Lenalee pointed out.

They continued to walk down the grand hallways until they reached the ballroom where the party was being held. Almost instantly, Allen's eye activated and he grabbed the sleeves of his teammates and pulled them to an empty spot.

"Bad news."

"What is it now?" Kanda sneered, more annoyed than usual because Allen was still dragging him.

"There's akuma." He explained. "Everywhere."

* * *

**Rose: So what was in that packet...?**

**Stella: ...I'll just leave that to your imagination! n_n**

**Lavi: Stella-chan's a pervert~**

**Stella: Shut up! I am not!**

**Kanda: Perv.**

**Stella: You too, Kanda?!**

**Allen: I hate you...Stella...**

**Stella: Aww, Allen! I'm sorry, but I had to! *clears throat* Well, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! This is supposed to be more of a funny, comical story rather than serious. Cause I'm not so sure I'm that good at writing humor.**

**Oh, but it's almost my 6-month fanfiction anniversary! I just noticed. :P I'm a loser..haha. I don't even know if I got better at writing.**

**Kanda: You didn't.**

**Stella: SHUT UP! I'm thinking about doing a Naruto fanfic soon...Sasuke o_O**

**Naruto: DATTEBAYO! I'm way better than Sasuke! I'm gonna beat him AND become hokage!**

**Sasuke: I'd like to see you try, idiot.**

**Stella: E-eh?! You two aren't in this fandom! Go away! But um...I love you, Sasuke.**

**Lavi: WHAT! Stella-chan, how could you?!**

**Stella: But I love you the most Lavi! Geez, now this a/n is really long. My muses are going crazy right now. If I even used that word right...err, well yeah, please review and tell me what you think! :D**


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